Perception Is Reality

If you received my latest newsletter, you'll see perception has been the theme I've been thinking about this week. How we perceive things is how we build our realities. Think about it. Our world would not be what it is today if it wasn't for a few people who believed in a reality nobody else could see.

This happens every day. From micro to macro levels. We perceive things and make judgments based on our feelings, experiences, interpretations, and state of mind. Our imagination helps create the world we want to live in. Once our imagination makes something real, our senses begin bringing it to life.

We see someone crossing their arms, they must be standoffish. Or maybe they're just cold.

We see someone at work on their phone, they must not be professional. Or maybe they're showing something to a client.

The same thing can happen between a couple. The man sees and thinks about a situation one way. His woman has a completely different idea and perspective on the matter. Which usually leads to a fight.

Or think about it this way.

Someone sees a dog barking. The perception becomes that the owner has no control over their dog. The dog is aggressive or doesn't listen.

The dog pulls on the leash, the owner thinks the dog is being stubborn.

The owner gives a command and the dog ignores it. The dog must be defiant.

The owner pops the leash a couple of times to get the dog's attention. It's abuse.

If we aren't careful, pretty soon we care less about facts and more about the story we tell ourselves. Every story is different. The meaning we give those stories is different. In many ways, how we perceive things reveals more about us than the thing we're observing.

An insecure person sees rejection.

An angry person sees disrespect.

A fearful person sees danger.

A confident person sees opportunity.

The world may not have changed at all. Only the lens through which it was viewed.

Dogs don't spend much time creating stories. They react to what they understand, what they desire, and what they've learned through experience.

Humans are different. We create meaning out of everything.

Sometimes that meaning helps us.

Sometimes it blinds us.

The next time your dog does something you don't like, try looking at the situation without your human expectations attached to it. Ask yourself one simple question:

What makes sense from their perspective?

That question alone will teach you more about dog training than most commands ever will.

Dogs have their own motives, drives, history, and experiences. They want things just like we do. Food. Play. Rewards. Access to something they value. They aren't working against us nearly as often as we think. Most of the time they're simply acting on what makes sense to them.

Naturally, if their goals don't align with ours, conflict appears.

The best way to find alignment is through connection. The dog wants something. We want something. Training becomes the process of creating a relationship where both sides benefit. We get the behavior we're looking for, and the dog gets something they value in return.

It's a win-win.

But like any relationship, connection takes time. It's built through understanding, consistency, successes, failures, and patience.

When things aren't going well, instead of asking why your dog is being difficult, ask yourself:

What are they understanding from their perspective?

The answer may change everything.