What Your Standards Say About You

Standards Are Everything

I put out a short last week where I said,

"If it isn't clean, clean it up."

If you watched the video, Arya came into heel position almost perfectly. To most people, it looked great.

Almost.

She was slightly out of position. She didn’t recognized, but I did. I had her adjust, and cleaned it up. To the untrained eye, it seemingly wasn't a big deal.

To me, it was. Why?

Because "close enough" doesn't pass a BH. Precision does.

That's the standard. But Truthfully, my standard is even higher than that.

My standards aren't everyone's standards. Every person decides what they'll accept from themselves. Some standards are shared by society. Others are personal. The standards that matter most are the ones you refuse to compromise when nobody else is watching.

Most people think standards are rules. I see standards are promises. Every standard you keep is a promise you make to yourself. Every standard you lower is a promise you break.

That's why standards matter. They have very little to do with perfection and everything to do with identity. I have a few reasons why that might be.

Keeping high standards is difficult because lowering them is always easier. It's easier to skip the workout. Easier to ignore the sloppy repetition. Easier to hit snooze. Easier to blame circumstances. Easier to complain than improve. High standards require choosing the harder path over and over again.

When it comes to standards for yourself, you're keeping a promise to yourself whether you know it or not. You are in contract with yourself saying, ‘I have enough respect for myself, my name, I will not break or lower what I ask from myself.’ Every day you're entering into a contract with yourself that says, My word means something. My name means something. I won't lower my standards simply because no one is watching. At the end of the day your name is all you have.

What does this mean for Arya? Does that mean I'm hard on Arya? Do I hold high standards for her?

Yes. Some people would probably say unfairly. I disagree. There's a difference between holding a high standard and risking your dog's confidence, safety, or your relationship with them. Those aren't the same thing. When Arya gets it right, she knows it. When she gets it wrong, she understands why. That clarity is freedom. Confusion creates anxiety. Clarity creates confidence.

Does that mean I'm hard on myself?

Absolutely. Because in my mind, nothing ever feels good enough. I overthink. I raise the bar as soon as I reach it. Sometimes I struggle to enjoy the process because I'm already focused on what's next. That's the downside of high standards. They can become a source of growth—or a source of frustration if you never allow yourself to appreciate how far you've come.

Be aware, there is a difference between being demanding and being unfair. I’m aware enough I don't expect perfection on the first try. I expect us to pursue it. Finding that passion that’ll elevate my standards has been a fruitless search. Finding fascination in progress is what allows me to keep a standard. Going backwards is not in nature. I find fascination in improvement. Becoming a little better everyday.

Your standards determine what you accept. They determine what you ignore. They determine what you improve. We all have standards, whether we realize it or not.

Some people accept a dog that pulls because, "He's friendly."

Some accept being late because, "Traffic was bad."

Some accept a mediocre relationship because, "It could be worse."

The standard quietly becomes the ceiling. That ceiling becomes frustration. That ceiling is limitations and if there is one thing I understand people don’t like to accept limitations. It radiates a prickly feeling because no one likes limits. Working within limits can spark creativity. Living by them can spark chaos. Whatever you repeatedly accept eventually becomes normal. What becomes normal eventually becomes your life.

Dog training taught me that every repetition reinforces a standard.

Every time I let Arya get away with a sloppy heel, I'm telling her that's acceptable.

Life works much the same way.

Your standards don't determine who you are today. They determine who you'll become tomorrow.nBecause every day you either reinforce them... or slowly negotiate them away

Every promise you keep raises your standard. Every promise you repeatedly break lowers it.

Your standards speak long before you do.

They tell people what you'll tolerate.

More importantly, they tell you who you're becoming.